When I see the immortal words 'Filled Sodas' it reminds me of a few years ago. For those of you not familiar with it, soda bread is a traditional Irish bread, made with flour and buttermilk. It's typically cut into triangular shapes, then cut into two and filled with anything you want - bacon, sausage, egg, any combination you like, or usually all three.
Anyway, a few years ago I was on my way to an important meeting (Ed: Aren't all meetings important?) and felt the need to stop for a bite to eat. Normally I would have had my sandwiches with me, but not today - no, that would have been too easy. I stopped at a service station which did hot food and ordered a filled soda. Now you can count on the fingers of one hand the number of filled sodas I've had in the 50+ years of life on this earth - it would not normally be something I would go for. But on this occasion it seemed like a good idea. The lady doing the cooking was about to hand it over when she hesitated and asked if I would like an egg in it as well. What the heck, I thought, why not push the boat out and have an egg in it - sure what could possibly go wrong?
As I sat in the car some minutes later and bit into the soda I found out exactly what could go wrong. The soft fried egg, of course, squirted out all over the front of my crisp, white, business shirt. And I was not near enough home to go change, the meeting was looming and I still had an hour to drive to get there. To say that panic set in, was, dear readers, an understatement.
By good fortune I was close to the hotel where I swim regularly, so in I dashed into the changing rooms, covering everything up under a coat as I passed the receptionist and washed the shirt out in the sink as best I could. Then it was a mad time to get the thing dry enough to wear (using a hairdryer), trying my best to hide the creases and marks that remained. Eventually I got the shirt into some sort of acceptable state and I headed off to my meeting, where as you can guess I was not on top form. Somehow I got through it, but it was a traumatic experience.
So, my friends, should you ever find yourselves in Ulster, beware the Filled Sodas.